KH Oneshots Collection
by nupinoop296
Summary: Scenes from various times and places.
1. Eh?

A/N: I'M NOT DEAD. Yeah, so I have a billion projects in mind, but I want to do one of those oneshot collections, too…so, yeah. Here ya go. This just hit my brain today. I was thinking about the end of KH2. And yes, Xemnas does say something like that in the battle…Oo;

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN ANYTHING!! What do you people want from meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee? sob

Eh?

Immediately after Sora finished reading Kairi's letter, a bright light came from the water.

"Light…" Riku murmured.

"The door to light…" Sora whispered. He stood up and held out a hand to his friend. "We'll go together."

Riku nodded. "Yeah."

But as he let Sora help him up, a thought came to him. _Hey…wait. Didn't Xemnas say something like that?_


	2. Ice Cream

A/N: Hiya! More randomness, although this one was more inspired by a fanart. XD Of course I believe Roxas and Namine can talk to their others! It makes things more interesting. 3 But I had (have) no idea where this is going… DX

Disclaimer: I still don't. Leave me alone. OO

Sora was walking home from his first day of school since his return. It had been a real drag, especially since there had been a review test that covered a bunch of stuff he didn't know. Luckily, Roxas had given him some of the answers. But now the Nobody wanted something in return.

_Buy some sea-salt ice cream__,_ the former Organization member demanded in the mind he shared with Sora.

_Er, Roxas..I don't think they sell that kind around here…_ replied Sora.

_What do you mean "I don't think"?_

_Well, I was kinda gone for over a year…_

_Good point. But that means you should go check._

"Fine! Fine! I'll look for your ice cream!" Sora yelled aloud, to the alarm of several kids who were stalking him. (Word of his adventures had gotten around fast…)

"Eh…hi…" the Keyblade Master said sheepishly, blushing with embarrassment. The small crowd slowly backed away and headed in the other direction, whispering among themselves about how "the rumors must not be true; he's just crazy!"

Sora sighed. _Thanks a lot, Roxas._

_Always here to help, Other! _ Roxas chirped happily. _He _wasn't the one who got embarrassed, for once.


	3. Cheating

A/N: Muahaha!! ! D Yet another update! But…don't get used to it. I have school. XPPP So, yeah. This is a prequel to Ice Cream. I hope you like it!

Disclaimer: sigh Fine. I'll say it. I don't own anything. At all. Ya happy now?!

Cheating

Sora hadn't seen this coming. The first day he had gotten back to school from his adventure, his class was taking a huge test on "a million things I've never even HEARD of!"

The young Keyblade Master had lost all hope; that is, until he remembered the other boy living in his head.

_Come on Roxas! _Sora pleaded._ Just tell me a few of the answers! You already know this stuff!_

_No way, Sora. _ replied Roxas. _That's just cheating!_

_Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease? I can't fail this test! I'll be held back forever! _

_Nuh-uh. It's not my fault you were running around the worlds for over a year._

_It's not my fault, either! But come on! I'll do anything!_

The Nobody thought it over. _Anything?_

Sora found it hard to contain his anxiousness. _Really!! Anything!_

_Alright then. _Roxas snickered.

_Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! You are the best Nobody ever!_

_I know. Just remember: YOU OWE ME._

_Right. _The brunette barely stopped himself from nodding his head off.

The blonde smirked in their shared mind._ Good. Now what's the first question, again?_


	4. SleepingForget Me

A/N: ZOMGWTHECKBBQVCR!! Another one? Wowee zowee! Lol. But, yeah. Stuff always seems to hit me while I'm doing the dishes…oh, and this one has two names. Yup. But I though I don't really go for SoraxNamine, I feel sad when he forgets her…

Disclaimer: I STILL DON'T OWN ANYTHING. SHEESH.

Sleeping/Forget Me

The pale blonde stood alone in the pure white room. She stared at the boy in the egg-shaped pod.

_He's so…peaceful…_

His look on his face was one of utter bliss.

_Is he dreaming about me…or…her?_

The girl looked fondly at her right-hand pinky finger, smiled, and went back to work.


	5. Idiot

A/N: Gah! I just thought this up. Sora is funny. Hurr. :B I won't be able to update much until I get this EVIL English project done. CURSE YOU, RESEARCH PAPERS!!

Disclaimer: NO! It wasn't me! points to Tetsuya Nomura He did it!!

Idiot

"Hey, Riku?" asked Sora.

"What is it?"

"How come you wear yellow? Isn't that, like, a girl's color?"

"You wear it too, moron."

Sora snickered "Not as much as you do! And with that long hair of yours? You look so pretty!"

"Wha-"

"Riku's a girl! Riku's a girl!" The brunette started dancing around his friend, taunting him.

Riku slapped his friend in the back of the head. "Shut up, Sora!"

Sora pouted. "What was that for?!"


	6. Skateboards

A/N: This stuff just hits me at random times. Drabble. I've been favoriting Roxas lately, so, yeah. These two crack me up. But I like the idea of Roxas being a Sk8ter. (Lol.) pokes reader Uh…not a long note this time. Go on, READ!

Disclaimer: I am not of the owning of anything, yes?

Skateboards

_Boooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooored…_

_I know. Unified Geometry bites._

_Especially since I already took it. _

_Enough about that, ok?_

_What do you even do for fun around here, man?_

_Uh….go to the beach, hang out with Riku and Kairi…_

_Is that IT?_

_Er..yeah. Didja forget I was gone for over a year?_

_Whatever. Do you go skateboarding?_

_Um…no. I don't know how. I never tried it. _

_What?! You mean you've never experienced the awesomeness that is riding a skateboard?!_

_Isn't that what I ju-_

_That's it. After school, we're getting you to a skate shop._

_But I-_

_No buts, Sora._

Later……

_There it is! I knew I saw it on the way to school!_

"_Destiny Skate Shop". They must have built it while I was gone._

_GO IN ALREADY!!_

_ALRIGHT! Sheesh._

And so he did. 500 munny and 15 crashes later…

_You are THE WORST skateboarder EVER! I mean, c'mon! It's not that hard!_

_I TOLD you I'd never done it before! And I nearly broke this expensive board you FORCED me to get when I tried to do that REALLY hard move you FORCED me to do!_

_You're telling me that not once in all your adventures, you never did anything even remotely similar to skateboarding?!_

_Uh…would riding a magic carpet in Agrabah count? _

_Hmmm…I believe it would._

A few more tries later….

_Now that's what I'm talking about!_

_I guess this isn't so bad after all! You were right, Roxas!_

_Of course I was. _

--

A/N: Dood. Long one. Well, expect more this weekend. And don't expect more. Blargh. Help me. I hate English.

A/N: Edit: I wrote this before I got KH2. XD Sorry.


	7. Torture

A/N: Uhhhhhhhhhhh…I was watching this thing on the Brady Bunch, and someone said the theme song could be used as torture…And I wanted to do something with the Organization Trio…so…yeah. And I stole the intercom thing from another story. Moohaha.

Disclaimer: -opera voice- I OWN NOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING!!

Torture

"We're gonna get in SO much trouble for this, Axel."

"But it'll be so worth it! We'll laugh about this for ages!"

"Not if we're dead."

"I don't wanna die!!"

"Quit being a crybaby, Demyx! We're not gonna die! We'll be in and out before Xemnas can get there!"

" No. I'm not gonna risk my neck just for another stupid prank."

"C'mon, little buddy! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeease?"

"ALRIGHT! Fine. But if the Superior sics Saix on us, you're getting pushed in front."

The three Nobodies snuck down the hallway to Xemnas' office and closed the door.

"Okay. There's the intercom. You guys ready?"

The two blondes nodded. Axel smirked, and carefully pressed the red button on the speaker. They all took a deep breath aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand…

"Here's the story of a lovely lady  
Who was bringing up three very lovely girls.  
All of them had hair of gold, like their mother,  
The youngest one in curls.  
Here's the store, of a man named Brady,  
Who was busy with three boys of his own,  
They were four men, living all together,  
Yet they were all alone.  
Till the one day when the lady met this fellow  
And they knew it was much more than a hunch,  
That this group would somehow form a family.  
That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch.  
The Brady Bunch,  
That's the way we all became the Brady Bunch."

All during the song, bloodcurdling screams rang throughout the World That Never Was.

"Hahahahaha! Nice job, boys! Now let's get out of here!"

"You know-haha!-we're gonna be murder-hur-hahahahahaha! In our sleep for this-hehe- right?"

Demyx had fallen over laughing. "Heeheehee! That was great! Hahaha-OH NO. RUN! RUN AWAY!!"

The other two looked over their shoulders and paled. Three words: Larxene and Saix.


	8. REAL Torture

A/N: AAAAAAGH!! SO LAZYYYYYYYYYYY!! Okay, I'ma gonna get this done quick so I can other stuff. Yeah. Blargh. I hate setups.

Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING in this, okay? JEEEEEEEEZ.

REAL Torture

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!" screamed Demyx.

"EVERY NOBODY FOR HIMSELF!!" cried Axel.

"IT WAS AXEL'S IDEA!" yelled Roxas.

"Oh, thanks, bud!"

"I told you I'd blame you!"

"Never mind that guys! RUN!"

Unfortunately, they had delayed too long. Larxene tackled Axel, and Saix grabbed Demyx and Roxas by their hoods.

"Payback time" growled Larxene.

"Gulp!" went the Trio.

In the dungeon of the Castle That Never Was…

The poor Trio had all been tied to chairs in a sound-proof-so-people-on-the-outside-can-only-hear-screams-of-terror room. Saix and Larxene were in a booth with a window looking into the other room.

"W-what are y-y-you gonna do t-to us?" whimpered Demyx.

"Oh, you'll see…" chuckled Saix. "Play the first song."

"This is gonna be good…" cackled the blond sadist as she pressed the button on a HUGE CD player.

After about 2 seconds, the Barney song came blasting out of the speakers in the Trio's torture chamber.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed Roxas.

"TURN IT OFF! TURN IT OFF!" cried Axel.

"MAKE IT STOP!!" shrieked Demyx.

No such luck. The two maniacs in the other chamber were laughing their butts off at the poor Trio's pain. But the horror didn't end there. Among the other terrifying songs played were the Wiggles' "Fruit Salad", the Spice Girls, High School Musical, assorted opera music, the Lip Gloss Song, and"You Are a Pirate". Demyx had passed out by the third song, but the other two were still somewhat conscious.

"Please…stop…" gasped Roxas.

"No….more…horrible…music…" Axel sobbed.

"Oh, it's not over yet…" laughed Larxene. "Next up…the Ultimate Suffering!"

Hey, look! More screams of mind-numbing terror ringing throughout the World That Never Was!

By now, Demyx had woken up. No one could sleep during the Lazytown Cake Song.

"Why?! WHY?!" he wailed.

"Axel, if we survive, I'll kill you!" Roxas hissed.

"I don't think we're gonna make it, guys…" Axel whispered.

Saix grinned evilly. "And finally…the icing on the cake of death…PARIS HILTON'S NEW SINGLE!"

Demyx fainted again.

"YOU WOULDN'T!!" cried the remaining two.

"Oh, we _would_."

"Enough!"

The two torturers turned to look at the intruder. "Superior! What are you doing here?"

"I came to tell you that these three have undergone enough punishment. Besides, you know what the next song would do to them."

"But-"

"No buts. Now let them go."

"Yes, Superior."

The Trio sighed with relief. Nothing was worse than Paris Hilton's new single.

Hehe. Narrow escape, eh? But didja notice the references I made to another fanfic? If you can name it, you get your choice of a cookie, a taco, or a RAM chip! And if you noticed the reference to a TV show in that last sentence, you get all threeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Um…review, please?


	9. Not Fair

A/N: So there I was, re-reading " Kingdom Hearts: The Third Epic" and generally being lazy. Then I remembered: "HEY! I have a few finished stories I need to type ! XD" So yep. I really wanted to update this oneshots collection. IT'S BEEN SO NEGLECTED!! T-T BUT NOT NO MORE!!!

Disclaimer: I own 2 copies of KH2 and one copy of KH1 (1 and 2…weird…), but none of the copyrights are mine!!

_**-OoOoOoO-**_

Not Fair

"All right!! This is for the championship!" Sora announced.

"Whatever. You know I'll win." Riku replied.

"GO!"

Sora turned and winked at a random girl. She swooned and hit the floor.

At the same time, Riku flipped his hair and smiled at a group of about five girls. He winced at the squeals, but smirked as they all fainted at once.

The two boys checked each other's body count.

"No fair, Riku!" whined Sora. "How do you do that?"

His friend grinned, ignoring the soft "thud" of another fainting fangirl.

"It takes years of practice, buddy."

_**-OoOoOoO-**_

A/N: XD I love messing with those two. Especially Sora. Cuz he's such a sweetie. X3

ANYWAY! So I was gonna have Sora say something about how they should stop abusing their fangirls like that, but it sounded kinda weird. Yup.

I was also making fun of how Riku seems to have more fangirls than Sora-darling. (Not Sora-chan, Sora-darling! Although it's really sorta the same thing…)

REVIEWERS WILL GET TWO WISHES!! CUZ SOMETIMES ONE AIN'T ENOUGH! XDDD


	10. Shopping

A/N: HOLY CRUD! I started this on Christmas Eve!! And I just now finished it!!! CURSE YOU LAZINEEEESSSSSS!! DX Anyway. I'm posting this by itself and as part of the Oneshots Collection because it's so long. X3 This one made me giggle. Enjoy!

Disclaimer: If you think I own anything, you're crazier than me. None of these characters or brands are mine.

_**-OoOoOoOoOoO-**_

Shopping

_Why does this have to be so hard? I'd better choose quick so I can get out of here._

The teen grabbed the two bottles and ran. Unfortunately, he didn't count on literally running into a familiar face.

"Ow…my head…"moaned the other boy.

"Sora? What are you doing in the hair-care aisle?"(A/N: Where did you think he was? XD)

The brunette let go of his aching cranium and looked up.

"Riku? What are you doing here?"

The older boy look panicked for a second, but quickly regained his cool and said, "It's for my mom."

Sora, being the adorable naïve Keyblade Master that he was, totally bought it.

"Oh, okay."

"What are you doing here, Sora?"

"Oh…hehe…y'see, uh…Kairi! I'm shopping for Kairi! I'm shopping for Kairi! Yeah, she wanted to pick up some things and-"

"You just got together and you're already her personal servant?" Riku chuckled. "Wow. Makes me glad I'm single."

Sora's jaw dropped. "I AM NOT HER-"

"Sora?" came a familiar female voice. "Come try this on, please!"

"Coming, Kai!" The spikey-haired boy noticed his friend staring at him, unsurprised. "What?"

The silver-haired teen shook his head. "Pathetic. Next thing you know she'll have you on a leash with a collar that says 'Property of Kairi' on it."

Sora's eyes widened. "A WHAT NOW?!"

Just then, the girl in question walked up. "Sora, try this hoodie on-Oh, hi Riku! What are you two talking about?"

"Is it true, Kairi?" Sora whimpered.

"Is what true?"

"Are you gonna make me wear a leash?"

"Wha-NO!!" The girl turned to Riku."What have you been telling him NOW?"

Riku smirked. "Oh, nothing…"

Kairi sighed. "Anyway, are you buying those products I told you about?"

"Yeah, but I forgot which-"

"AH-HA!!"

Riku froze. Sora had been so quiet up until now that he had forgotten he was even there.

"So they weren't for your mom!!" Sora snatched the two bottles from Riku's hands. "Herbal Essences 'hello hydration' 2-in-1 Shampoo and Conditioner…and Sunsilk 'hydra TLC' Conditioner for Split Ends?! Hahaha! Riku uses GIRL shampoo!!" The brunette fell over laughing. "Dude, The pink Sunsilk??"

"Not so loud, moron!" yelled his embarrassed friend. "The last kid who found out followed me everywhere imitating that guy on the commercial!!"

Kairi soon joined Sora on the supermarket floor.

By this, Riku's face was redder than a tomato. He was about to try and sneak off while his friends were laughing themselves into comas, but then he suddenly noticed something fall out of Sora's pocket. He picked it up and read:

"Pantene Pro-V Sculpting Wax. 'Remoldable high-hold wax for gravity-defying texture'…waterproof?!"

Sora's eyes widened and he immediately jumped up. "Give that back!"

The older teen held the product high above their heads as his considerably shorter friend tried to jump and reach it.

Sora seemed to have forgotten his gliding abilities.

Kairi decided it was enough. "Okay you two, stop already!"

The two boys stared at her, then gave back each other's hair products.

"Good!" said the redhead, beaming. "Don't make fun of each other! It's okay to use this stuff, guys. Just think of what you'd look like without it!"

They all were silent for a moment, then they shuddered simultaneously.

"Anyway…" continued the girl, "Let's head to the dressing room, Sora. I need you to try this hoodie on."

Her boyfriend pouted. "Aw, Kai, do I have to?"

Kairi batted her eyelashes and quivered her lip. "Do it for me? Please?"

Sora hung his head in defeat. "Okay…"

Kairi's face immediately brightened, and she gave him a kiss on the lips, sending him off to Cloud 9.

Riku gazed at the spectacle in horror. "It's worse than I thought…"

"But it's totally worth it, man…" murmured his love-stricken friend as he was led away by the red-haired girl.

The older teen smirked and headed to the check-out counter.

_**-AaAaAaAaAaAaA-**_

Later, at the play island…

"Hi, Riku!"

"Hey, Sora. Where's Kairi?"

"Oh, some sleepover at Selphie's."

"Huh."

After a few minutes, Sora turned to his friend with that goofy grin on his face. "Hey, Riku?"

"Yeah?"

"SUNSIL-" smack'd"Ow! What was that for?!"

"Shut up, Property of Kairi!!"

_**-OoOoOoOoOoO-**_

A/N: XD The Property of Kairi thing was my favorite. But I don't know why Sora was upset about trying on a hoodie. It's not like Kairi wanted him to try on a suitor something. X3

So yeah, this was poking fun at the boys' hair and people's theories about it. Neeheehee!

OH YEAH! And I was actually at the store with my mom when I was coming up with the idea for this, so I was able to write down the REAL stuff it says on the bottles. XDDD It's all real, except for the waterproof part. I was those products and died laughing. I was all like, "THAT IS SO THEM!! XDDDDDD" Yup.

And in response to some anonymous reviewers…:

Jesus Rocks: Sora-chan is a pet name a lot of fangirls call Sora. The "-chan" is a Japanese honorific showing affection, I believe.

ChibiToph: No, it's not from Organization Idol. Good guess, though!

REVIEWERS WILL GET A FREE DESSERT MENU ITEM OFTHEIR CHOICE! YOU GOTTA ASK, Y'ALL!!


	11. Stare

A/N: Just a short little thing…not much…_Those of Great Destiny_ will be updated soon. Writer's block is evil!

Disclaimer: Why am I writing this? It's in every chapter…

Stare

Xigbar noticed the youngest member staring at him. He pointed to his eyepatch.

"Wanna see it?"

The blond boy shuddered and shook his head. "No. I can imagine it."


	12. Ice Cream 2

A/N: Yep. Finally updated this again. Got bored and decided to do something useful. TADAH!! XD

Disclaimer: -sigh- Stop asking. I'm depressed.

_**-OoOoOoOoOoO-**_

Ice Cream 2

"Ugh! How could you eat so much of that stuff?" asked Riku, a disgusted look on his face.

Sora blinked. "What? It's _good_!"

The two boys were walking home from school when Sora stopped at _yet another _ice cream stand to buy his and the entire island's new favorite flavor: sea salt.

The brown-haired boy held out a blue popsicle to his friend. "Try it."

Riku recoiled and shook his head. "No thanks."

Sora shrugged and went back to eating, but kept the extra. "More for me."

"You know that the one you're eating is your fourth one today, right?"

"You were counting?"

"Yeah." replied the older boy, frowning. "One the way to school this morning, then two more at lunch. You're addicted."

Sora finished the fourth one and moved on to the fifth. "It's not my fault. Roxas bugs me if I don't have at least three a day." He suddenly added in a different but familiar voice, "It's true."

Riku wasn't fazed. "What about the other ones? And don't you get dehydrated or something?"

His friend grinned sheepishly. "I told you! It's really good! And besides…" Sora pulled a water bottle out of his schoolbag.

"I'm worried about you..." muttered Riku, rolling his eyes.

Just then, Kairi ran up. "Hi guys! What's up?"

"We were just discussing Sora's latest obsession." replied Riku, pointing at the offending dessert.

"What about it?" the girl inquired as she unwrapped one of her own.

"Not you too!" cried Riku in exasperation.

Sora grinned. "It's not just us! Didn't you notice all of the ice cream vendors we passed in the last few minutes? The whole island loves sea salt ice cream!"

Shaking his head in disgust, Riku muttered, "Sickening…"

It took twice as long to get home as it usually did because a certain spikey-headed Keyblade Master just had to stop for _one_ more ice cream…twice.

"Seriously, Sora." Riku chided. "You're gonna make yourself sick."

Sora pouted. "Nuh-uh!"

The silver-haired teen stopped at his house."Whatever. See you guys later."

"Bye, Riku!" his friends responded in unison as they kept walking.

"We should make him try it soon" muttered Sora.

"Even if we have to tie him to a chair to do it!" giggled Kairi.

Riku, of course, overheard them and shouted, "Not on your life, freaks!"

Sora and Kairi burst out laughing and ran around the corner. Riku sighed and shook his head. As soon as he was sure his friends were gone, his expression turned even more serious. He spotted another ice cream stand across the street and quickly ran over to it. The seller looked happy to see him.

"Ah! My a-favorite customer!" said the mustached man, beaming. "The usual, I assume?"

Riku looked left and right. "Always, Luigi. But hurry. I have a reputation to keep."

The man didn't stop smiling. "Of course, my young friend! One case of sea salt, a-comin' up!"

The vendor pulled out a rather large box of said ice cream and handed it to the boy as the teen slapped some cash on the stand. Riku quickly stuffed the box in his backpack and ran back to his house. He unlocked, opened, and slammed it behind him all in one movement.

_**-OoOoOoOoOoO-**_

RIKU YOU HYPOCRITE! Retardedness. XD I made this up as I went. Yay. It probably doesn't compare to _Shopping_. To my regular readers: _Those of Great Destiny_ will be updated soon!!


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